


Hidden in Plain Snight (Snake Sight)

by insertnerdyjokehere



Category: Good Omens (TV)
Genre: Crack Treated Seriously, Fluff, Gen, Great Good Omens Snake-Off, M/M, Snake Crowley (Good Omens), artistic liberties taken in regards to the london zoo
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-18
Updated: 2020-03-18
Packaged: 2021-02-28 20:35:58
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,433
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23193298
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/insertnerdyjokehere/pseuds/insertnerdyjokehere
Summary: It was adorable for Crowley to think that after all this time he had any hiding spots Aziraphale didn’t know about.
Relationships: Aziraphale/Crowley (Good Omens)
Comments: 10
Kudos: 176





	Hidden in Plain Snight (Snake Sight)

**Author's Note:**

> Written for the Great Good Omens Snake Off!

It was adorable for Crowley to think that after all this time he had any hiding spots Aziraphale didn’t know about. Appallingly wrong- but adorable nevertheless. Six thousand years and Aziraphale had figured out most of his habits by now. 

Angels didn’t have a sixth sense for finding demons. Sure, they had a particularly sulfuric smell and tended to be found where there was ne'er-do-well-ing but there was not an actual God given alarm system to pinpoint their exact locations. They had plenty of other senses beyond five though. A sense of serenity. A sense of peacefulness. And of course, a sense of love. And when you got right down to it sensing love wasn’t even that special really. A lot of places had love. The humans were chock-full of it and spread it everywhere they went. It was easy to love and by extension, easy to sense. 

The London Zoo was quite full of love. The love of learning, of nature, of animals, and- Aziraphale adjusted the frequency of his mind’s eye, the unmistakable love from a certain demon that had a fondness for flashy sunglasses and flashier cars and especially for angelic part time booksellers. 

A certain demon that was trying to avoid a certain angel. 

On a good day, Aziraphale would take his time walking through the exhibits, enjoying the excitement and joy on children's faces at seeing the animals. Not today though. Today he had somewhere to be. A wedding he had enthusiastically agreed to attend. A wedding Crowley had maybe not so much as agreed to attend as had been strong-armed into attending by a pushy angel who refused to miss out on something as romantic as a wedding in the country. 

No, today was not a pleasant stroll through the zoo. It was a mission to find his errant husband who had decided that running away and hiding was going to get him out of this. 

It was not. 

With a quick snap, Aziraphale stomped as politely as one could past the ticket counter, thinking about the note he had found this morning taped to the fridge. _Gone out to get some milk, ta!_

“We already _have_ milk. And he doesn’t even _drink_ milk. What kind of- Did he really think-” He puffed out an irritated huff and felt out for the familiar pull of love that Crowley pretended Aziraphale didn’t notice. He followed it until he stood before a large stone building.

The London Zoo Reptile House. _Really, was he even trying?_ He’d caught Crowley here at least seventeen times, always a fan of milling about and claiming that he liked how dark and damp it was. Fool couldn’t just admit that he liked to impersonate zookeepers and tell children gruesome facts about reptiles.

Aziraphale stepped into the building and glanced around. There were dozens of glass enclosures that housed a myriad of reptiles, each one with a posting that had tidbits on the inhabitants. He made a note to come back on a different day to actually read the cards and see the creatures but right now he had a husband to find. 

He walked through the exhibit, quickly scanning the faces of people he walked by, looking for a flash of red hair or glint of sunglasses. After reaching the end of the hall he came up short.

There was no sign of Crowley. 

Puzzled, he made another sweep, taking special care to see if any of the zoo goers could be Crowley in disguise. Still no. Either Crowley had gotten very good at changing his appearance or he wasn’t there. But that was impossible. Aziraphale knew that tone of love, that subtle vibration in the air that was for him and him alone, not to mention the barest hint of sulfur in the air. 

With a suspicious slowness, Aziraphale took another lap around the exhibits, trying to find the exact location of the source of adoration. He could use this to his advantage. 

“My,” he said loudly enough for anyone in the vicinity to hear, human and demon alike, “what a jolly good display! Absolutely tip top.” A few people gave him odd looks as he wasn’t even looking at anything in particular, just standing in the middle of the hall. His senses picked up on a reflexive uptick of affection that was desperately trying to be squashed down. And it was coming from directly behind him. 

“Aha!” With a triumphant shout he turned around just in time to see a familiar serpentine head duck away in one of the enclosures. His voice caught the attention of another patron who took several steps to the side and pretended to be engrossed in the plaque in front of a different enclosure. 

He’d recognize that red scaled underbelly anywhere. 

“Well done but the jig is up my scaly friend.” He whispered as he stalked forward. Crowley, for of _course_ it was Crowley, lifted his head and flicked out a forked tongue before dropping back down and tucking his head away from sight. 

“I know it’s you. Don’t deny it. There is no way you’re a- a-” Aziraphale looked at the display next to the glass, “A Burmese Python! The colors are all off. You are an embarrassment to yourself and herpetologist everywhere.”

_“The other exhibits were too small."_ He had a point. Any of the actual species of snake that Crowley could pass off as leaned toward the smaller side. _“Thought this would be a nice place for a nap.”_

“You’re just trying to get out of going because you’re an emotional sap who cries at weddings.”

There was no response from Crowley. Fine. Over the years Aziraphale had gotten quite good at playing dirty. Especially when it came to Crowley. 

“It’s not that big of a deal.” He sighed and tried to sound as dejected as possible, even threw in a bit of a sniffle. “It’s just...” he paused to look off into the distance in as miserable a manner as he could manage, “I was _so_ looking forward to spending the day with you… My dear… my darling… my husband.” 

_“Laying it on a bit thick there, angel.”_ Crowley hissed from behind the glass. There was a hint of uncertainty in his voice. From the corner of his eye Aziraphale could see Crowley lift his head, eyes shifting back and forth. _Played for a sucker!_ Aziraphale thought to himself.

Aziraphale turned back to Crowley and made eye contact for a brief moment before casting his eyes away, his lip trembled and he made a point to bite it and look downtrodden. Drawing in a shaky breath, he pretended to steady himself. “No, no, you’re right. I’m making a big deal of nothing.” Another sniffle. “I’ll just be off.” 

" _Alright!"_ Crowley started unfurling from his tightly wound coils. _“Fine, I’ll go.”_

The angel immediately brightened, any trace of melancholy evaporated away like it was never there to begin with. “There’s a dear.” 

_“Bassstard.”_

Ignoring Crowley, Aziraphale took a step back and straightened his bowtie. “Now, how are we going to get you out of that without notice?” He tapped a finger to his chin and looked to Crowley. 

Snakes, by and large, are unable to smirk. Crowley however, even in snake form, had a knack for expressing exactly when he was up to trouble. The barest flick of his tongue, the slight tilt of his head. 

There was a split second where Aziraphale had the time to notice these signs but before he could react there was a small cracking sound, like stepping on ice or more specifically, like glass breaking. 

Aziraphale watched in unsurprised horror as a line started to fraction out through the enclosure’s window. It spread like lightning, growing with a comical slowness.

The glass shattered and the window fell away, leaving it open to the hall of the reptile house. Several of the zoo goers gasped and distantly there was a call for one of the zookeepers. 

The great red bellied snake that was Crowley slithered out of the terrarium, miraculously avoiding any shards of glass and plopped down at Aziraphale’s feet, looking up at him as smugly as a snake could. 

_“Cmon, we’re gonna be late.”_

“I don’t know why I put up with you.” 

_“Force of habit at this point I sssupose.”_ Crowley hissed before slithering off toward the exit, creating a wide berth in the crowd. He bared his fangs and a couple zoo goers for good measure. Aziraphale sighed and started after his snake of a husband. “He owes me _at least_ one dance for this.”


End file.
